Me Against The Music
by eshadlow
Summary: AKA, five times that music makes Beca Mitchell cry.


**Summary:** Five times that music makes Beca Mitchell cry.

**Disclaimer:** So not mine, just playing in this little world for a while.

**Notes:** This is my first fanfic in 5 years and the longest in almost 10 so I am sure this is rusty as shit. But still, something about this pairing invaded my brain and refused to let go, so I wrote this. I hope you all enjoy it.

Thanks to Bec for beta-ing this for me at the last minute!

* * *

**_1.  
_**

Beca Mitchell always prided herself on being the toughest, least girly girl that she knew. She didn't wear pink frills or dresses or have slumber parties or swoon over guys and - most importantly – she never cried. Even as far back as Kindergarten she was the only girl in her class not to shed a tear on the first day of school. She just wasn't that kind of girl, never had been and never would be. Her emotions (excluding anger, contempt and disdain) were kept under a well-guarded lock and key and were only displayed in her passion for music.

Music has always been the one part of her life that has come close to getting her emotional, to opening up her soul and letting down her walls. It was her friend though the dark days of her parents messy divorce and her father's abandonment. It kept her company and gave her an outlet during four torturous years of high school, her headphones hidden under her hair or inside her hoodie for 12 hours a day, the soothing sounds drowning out the rest of the world. It gave her pride in herself, in her ability to make something amazing; and it gave her a dream to aspire to, something to help her feel like she could leave the crap life of adolescence and high school behind.

But the best part? There were never any tears shed over her music.

And yet somehow she now finds herself sitting in a college dorm room, _crying_ over the stupid ending to a goddamn cheese-fest of a movie – _a movie! - _that she never wanted to watch in the first place! What is happening to her?! Where is the tough woman she prides herself on being? The Beca of a year ago wouldn't have been caught dead crying over the end of a movie – in fact, she wouldn't have even watched the movie in the first place! And as she swipes at the tears falling down her face and swears at herself under her breath, Beca Mitchell is forced to admit to herself that maybe she's not the girl she was a year ago.

She came to Barden with a plan to hate it and just slog it out until such time as she could convince her dad to let her move to LA - after the years of her life that he had missed she was fairly confident that she would have been able to guilt him into it sooner or later. But something has happened in the 7 months she has been here – she has actually found herself enjoying some of the parts of the so-called 'amazing college experience' her father was so determined she should have. Sure her classes drag and she wonders if she will ever learn anything of merit or practical use before she graduates, but her internship at the radio station and even – it hurts her a little to admit – the Bellas have been more fun than she could ever have realised.

But what surprises her most is how attached to the people she's become. Amy, Chloe even creepy little Lilly have all made her smile and laugh and even look forward to being in their company. And then there's Jesse…Jesse who has worked with her and encouraged her and bought her juices boxes and who took it really well when she spanked his ass during the Riff-Off – official results be damned. No one in her life, including her parents, has ever treated her with the kindness and reverence that Jesse has.

And now she's fucked it all up. Aubrey and the Bellas hate her, Jesse isn't speaking to her and she can't help but worry that there is nothing much to look forward to anymore. She thought that maybe if she watched a few of the movies that Jesse goes on about so much that she might find some inspiration, that just maybe some of the enthusiasm and optimism he has would…_infect_ her or something. Give her enough motivation to try and continue this whole 'college experience' without the friends she has, surprisingly, come to rely on and enjoy.

But no, instead she's sitting here crying like a little bitch. _Goddammit!_

It's the song, she tells herself. The god-dammed Simple Minds song. She's allowing her love of music to confuse her feelings and that's why she's crying; she simply recognized a great song when she heard it. That, and maybe she's hormonal. Or sleep-deprived. Or a little of everything.

One thing is for sure, she is not crying because the stupid movie got to her. She's not crying because she feels lonely or because she's angry with herself for pushing Aubrey's patience at the Semis and driving the Bellas away. And she's certainly not crying because she misses Jesse and this ending reminds her of how much he loved it and how he almost kissed her that night, right here on her bed.

Nope, that's not it at all. It must be the music. Fucking Simple Minds.

* * *

_**2. **_

Looking back, Beca should have been expecting something. Jesse was nothing if not a desperate romantic and he relished any chance he had to make a sappy gesture that would embarrass her, make her laugh and give her butterflies all at the same time. It was a part of his personality she had made a concerted effort to keep in check since they began dating; at least, she had made him agree to limit the massive, public displays that she knows he would just have loved to spring on her.

_"So acca-girl, I take it from your amazingly sexy performance up there tonight that you finally watched The Breakfast Club," Jesse says quietly into her ear._

_It's 2:47am the night of the 2013 ICCAs and they are cuddled up together on the TKTS steps in Times Square watching their fellow Bellas and Treblemakers – all of whom, like they, are quite tipsy – laughing and dancing and generally having the time of their lives as they party in up in New York City. The Bellas are out to celebrate tonight and the Trebles have been dragged along very willingly; mostly, Beca believes, because they all think they have a good chance of getting laid tonight. Some of them are not wrong._

_Beca turns around and faces Jesse, smiling a little. "I might have."_

_"Well," he says, "You do know that this means, don't you? You've set a precedent for this relationship." _

_Confused, Beca turns more in his arms. "How so?"_

_"Well," Jesse grins at her in that cheeky way he has and she mentally kicks herself for the little flip and quiver her stomach does. "Any big moment in our lives will now need to be played out in song – a serenade if you will. I mean it would only be the right thing to do, to continue the trend you began."_

_Beca is moving in an instant, turning fully around to kneel before him, her hands gripping at his arms. "Oh no, there is no trend, no precedent – " _

_"Oh I disagree!" Jesse's smile widens – he is obviously enjoying this. "How will I be able to compete otherwise? I would hate to start this relationship in any kind of debt."_

_Beca straightens up on her knees and brings herself closer between his legs, her arms slipping easily around his waist. "Jesse, please." She tells him quietly. "I think we both know that on the romantic-gesture-of-any-kind-scale in this relationship, you will always be ahead. You gave me juice boxes and you got Luke to listen to my music and you kept pushing me even when I was mean and horrible to you." She leans up so their faces are almost touching and lowers her voice so only he can hear. "Besides, you serenaded me once already, remember? On our first day at Barden?"_

_Jesse smiles, remembering that day, his eyes briefly closing as he breathes out a laugh. "Ok," he opens his eyes and looks back up at her. "So technically, you got me on that one." He reaches out and cups her face in one hand, his thumb absentmindedly running across her cheek. "But seriously, don't ever feel like this relationship between us is a competition, Beca. I don't need you to serenade me or do stupid grand gestures. I just need to you to be with me, and be honest with me. No more pushing me away, ok?"_

_Beca ducks her head for a brief moment and inhales sharply, aware of how hard this will be for her, but determined to try. She looks back up into Jesse's adoring face and smiles. "Ok, I can do that. As long as you promise that you will not try and retaliate this whole 'grand gesture' idea by doing something stupid like standing outside my dorm room with a radio over your head or anything."_

_She can tell instantly that the reference is not lost on Jesse, his eye lighting up in laughter as he straightens and pushes her back to arms length. "Why Ms Mitchell, I do believe you may have watched more than just The Breakfast Club, am I right?" _

_Beca replies with a raise of one eyebrow and a half smile, "That is for me to know and for you to maybe find out."_

_"You promise?" Jesse asks softly as he pulls her in close to him again. _

_Beca contemplates replying verbally for a moment but elects instead to lean over and kiss him, ever so gently. His breath is warm on her face and she smiles, tasting alcohol and sugar from the crappy donuts they ate on his lips. _

_"If you promise never to pull off a big, embarrassing grand gesture in public," she tells him._

_"How about a compromise – I promise you that I will only ever do it once. One time only, for our entire relationship." Beca rolls her eyes skyward and sighs, wondering if it's worth having a debate with him now, here in this fabulous moment on a night when they are both half wasted and high on life. Eventually, she concedes._

_"Ok, one grand gesture. But that's it. After that, no more."_

_Jesse laughs and pulls her back to him, "See Bec, how hard was that?" _

_He reaches a hand up behind her head and pulls her in closer, deepening their kiss for a minute until Fat Amy rudely interrupts them with a shout of "Oi, you two, stop acting like a pair of koalas in heat - don't make me get a hose!"_

_Embarrassed they break apart quickly and Jesse grins broadly as Beca turns to see her friend standing next to them, smiling wildly and obviously half-tanked, leaning on their ICCA trophy like a walking stick. "We were thinking of heading back to the hotel for the rest of the party, you coming with?" Amy asks her._

_Beca exchanges a quick look with Jesse before nodding. He stands and offers her his hand as they follow their friends down the steps and into Times Square, wandering loudly and drunkenly in the direction of their hotel. Jesse puts an arm around Beca's shoulders as they walk at the back of the group, laughing and joking with the others as they make their way through the streets._

To everyone's surprise - but mostly Beca's - Jesse has abided this agreement for the most part in the three years they had been dating. Sure, there were the little things like elaborately planned Valentine's Day dinners or solos during competition that she swears were sung directly to her. But no big, grand gestures emulating some fabulously cheesy scene from some movie he loves; nothing that embarrasses her in front of crowds of strangers, her friends or either of their families.

Until now.

It's the last Thursday before graduation and Beca is laid out in what Jesse has dubbed 'their spot' on the quad; sunglasses on, one earbud headphone in her ear as she lounges in the sun and waits for Jesse to come and meet her. Finals are over, finally; these last few days of college life being spent tying up loose ends and packing up their off-campus apartment of two years in preparation for shipping - first back to Jesse's parents place in Maryland then across to LA to their new life together there.

Right now Jesse is meeting with one of the financial officers who handled campus groups, making all the arrangements to hand over the reins of the Trebles to the incoming leader. She herself had done the same earlier that day for the Bellas and was now blessedly responsibility-free for the first time in almost three years, a sensation she was relishing as she smiled a little under the warm sun.

She should have known something was up when no one came to interrupt her. Usually, five minutes peace was all the got before she was approached by one of her (seemingly many) friends, fellow classmates, her father or Jesse. And with graduation two days away her classmates and friends seem even more clingy and desperate to spend time together than ever before. Weirdos.

Instead, the first clue she has that something is up was when she hears the soft backing sounds that are unmistakably The Barden University Treblemakers. Confused, she sits up quickly, pulling her headphone out of her ear and squinting forward through her sunglasses to see if she is hearing things. Oh no. She isn't hearing things. Standing on the lawn before her, in all their maroon-hoodied glory, are the Trebles – minus her soon-to-be-dead boyfriend - singing the opening bars to a song that she suspects she may recognise all too well.

In the next few moments several things happen very quickly. She tries to stand, planning to walk away from this impromptu a cappella performance but finds herself being grabbed on either arm and dragged back down onto the ground. Turning from side to side she is surprised and confused to find Chloe and Aubrey, smiling secretively and gently sitting her back on the grass. They were supposed to be coming in tomorrow for graduation but have apparently arrived early.

"What are you – " she begins but Chloe cuts her off.

"No talking." The redhead physically turns Beca's head to face forward to watch where Benji has now stepped out in front of the Trebles to begin the first verse of the song.

_Jesse is a friend,  
Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine  
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define  
Jesse's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine_

Mortified. It is the only word to describe how she is currently feeling. Her face is on fire and her hands are shaking from embarrassment as she sits here, sandwiched between Aubrey and Chloe, watching Benji and the Trebles serenade her with Rick Springfield.

A crowd quickly forms as the song reaches the first chorus; other students, staff and general onlookers gathering to watch her complete mortification. She scans the surrounds for the rest of her Bellas - knowing that somehow, somewhere they are involved – but no sign. And no sign of Jesse either, which is odd because she knows how much he would be loving her embarrassment right now; especially an embarrassment that he has, she suspects, organized just for her.

_Why can't I find a woman like that!?_

The song cuts off abruptly as all the Trebles point in her direction, Benji with the biggest grin on his face that she think he has ever seen. Seriously, he looks happier than he did the first time he sang with the Trebles at ICCA finals, which is saying something. This is her second clue that something is up.

A moment later, and to thunderous applause and catcalls from the watching crowds including the two women currently physically restraining her from fleeing, the Trebles part like the maroon sea that they are and from behind them steps Jesse – her Jesse, with a smug-as-hell grin on his face. Behind him, one by one, file her Bellas; Fat Amy grinning like a mad woman, Stacie and Cynthia-Rose looking like cats that ate canaries. This is the final clue that something Big and Embarrassing is about to go down.

The Bellas begin to sing the background beats of a very familiar tune as they fan out behind Jesse, each of them smiling so hard at her she thinks their faces might split open. Jesse has eyes for no one but her as he steps toward her; Chloe and Aubrey drag her to her feet as he begins to sing.

_Oh, her eyes, her eyes  
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'  
Her hair, her hair  
Falls perfectly without her trying  
She's so beautiful  
And I tell her everyday_

Beca feels her stomach drop away as she watches Jesse walk slowly toward her, singing the song that she remembers so very well from a cold night in an empty swimming pool back in Freshman year when she put herself on the line and opened herself up to friendship for the first time in many, many years. Back then the lyrics had little meaning, just a tune that she could use to mix and blend another song with. But today, with the way Jesse is singing these lyrics to her, they take on new meaning.

She becomes aware that Chloe and Aubrey are no longer holding her in place, that she could run anytime she wants to, but for some reason she doesn't. Because despite her embarrassment and humiliation and the fact that she will kill him when she has a chance to, when Jesse is standing before her, so obviously in love with every part of her, she finds it impossible to turn away from him.

If her freshman self from her first day at Barden could see her right now she would be disgusted. But Beca has to admit, albeit a little grudgingly, the she is no longer that cold, bitchy, closed-off girl – and it's because of this man in front of her. No one has ever loved her as unconditionally as he has – not even, she suspects, her parents – and as much as she hates to admit to being corny or sentimental in any way, she loves him back just as fiercely.

Jesse's steps finally reach her as he comes to the end of the second chorus, the Bellas and Trebles harmonising beautifully as the song fades away. He reaches over to take both of her hands in his and she has a fleeting moment of panic as he kneels down in front of her; her fight-or-flight instincts screaming in her head because she knows what is coming right now. In some ways, she has always known it was coming. What other reason would he have to use up his allotted 'one grand gesture'?

"Beca Mitchell", Jesse begins to speak and she swears she can feel his hands shaking as they hold hers. Or maybe that's her hands, she's not sure. She takes a deep breath, swallowing her panic and calming her inner fears as she meets his eyes, determined not to flee. "You have been the most amazing part of my life for the past 4 years. You have challenged me and teased me and frustrated me beyond belief," a soft laugh comes up from the friends surrounding them as he continues. "But you have also inspired me and amazed me and loved me more than I could ever have dreamed. And most importantly, you have let me love you back."

He drops her hands and reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and Beca feels the first pricks of tears in her eyes and she blinks them back angrily because although she may not be an aloof unavailable ice-bitch anymore goddammit she refuses to be one of those girls who cries at a time like this. Jesse removes a small black velvet box – oh god, how cliché – from his pocket and opens it in front of her; his eyes as they meet hers overflowing with hope and love and, she thinks, more than a little fear.

"Beca," he asks softly, a little breathless. "Will you marry me?"

There is dead silence in the quad around them as everyone waits for her answer. A million thoughts and feelings fly through her head in a split second – fear, anxiety, her dislike of anything conventional or expected and how much she desperately, dearly loves this man before her. She had begun to suspect in recent months that this moment might be coming and truthfully, she had never fully decided to herself what her answer might be when he asked, despite spending quite a bit of time worrying about it. But standing here today, publicly embarrassed by her friends who care so much and with Jesse, whom she loves so much, kneeling before her she finds her answer is actually quite easy.

"Yes," she says simply before her face splits into a wide grin. "Yes, I will."

Jesse is on his feet in an instant, his arms around her as he kisses her senseless. Beca is vaguely aware of the crowd around them cheering and clapping but she pays them no attention, instead focusing all her senses on Jesse and his lips. After a long moment they pull apart, both grinning widely and Jesse reaches between them and lifts her left hand, placing the ring on her 4th finger. She lifts her hand to examine the simple platinum band with a row of 5 small diamonds that he has chosen and is startled to once again feel tears in her eyes. She tries again to blink them back to no avail.

Within an instant, she is accosted from several sides as Chloe, Fat Amy and Aubrey all try to hug her at the same time. No one comments on her tears and she hopes that they have gone unnoticed in the cheerful madness that reins for the next few minutes.

Finally, after congratulations from both friends and strangers, hugs from her Bellas as well as Benji, who she thought was going to break her ribs he was so happy, Beca finds herself once again in Jesse's arms. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close, her face going instinctively to his neck and shoulder where she often lays it.

"Just so you know," she tells him quietly, her words for his ears only. "That's it now, you used up your one; no more grand gestures ever again."

"Aww, Beca," he says as he turns his face down to her, "Don't lie, I saw the tears. You secretly enjoyed that." His smug grin is enough to make her want to punch him if she didn't love him so damned much. Bastard.

"It was the music," she tells him quickly, "I always hated Rick Springfield."

The melodic sound of his laughter splits the air as he grasps her tightly against him and kisses her, spinning them in circles on the lawn like some kind of cutesy, movie-ending couple. And god help her, maybe she just doesn't completely hate the moment.

* * *

_**3. **_

The phone call comes in the middle of the night – don't they always? – on a random Tuesday in November, waking her from sleep as she fumbles for her cell phone on the bedside table. Beside her, snoring gently, Jesse slumbers on; her fiancé (still a scary thought) is seemingly able to sleep through almost anything, she has learned over the years.

She holds the phone before her face, expecting to see Amy's name – the only person who would call her at this hour – and is surprised to see that her Dad is calling instead. Sitting up, concerned, she answers the call.

"Hello?" Her voice is hoarse and thick with sleep and comes out as little more than a croak.

"Beca, it's your dad."

"Dad, what are you doing it's – " a quick glance at the clock, "3am."

"Beca, sweetie, I know but I need to talk to you." Her father's voice is soft and serious and instantly she feels a trickle of icy fear run down her spine. Instinctively, she reaches out and shakes Jesse's shoulder. "It's your mom, honey," her father continues. "Something's happened."

Beca doesn't remember many of the words her father spoke next. All she remembers is Jesse sitting up and taking her in his arms as she cried out, confusion across his face. Wordlessly she had handed him her phone, the tinny sound of her father's voice calling her name echoing through their bedroom.

Four days later she finds herself sitting in the front of the funeral home chapel in Maine, watching as her mother's coffin is drawn behind the curtain at the front of the room; Jesse's right arm held tightly across her shoulders, his left hand clutching tightly to hers in her lap. To her left she can hear her Aunt Lucy crying, loud enough to be heard over the music that apparently her mother had always insisted she wanted at her funeral.

_But if you try sometimes well you might find  
You get what you need_

When her father had first told her her mother was dead, Beca had a terrifying moment where she thought the very worst. Memories of the angry, depressed and hard woman who had inhabited her adolescence filled her head in the seconds it took her father to explain what had happened. _"They think it was a blood clot…it was supposed to just be a routine procedure…Lucy called me, I asked her to let me tell you."_

Beca hasn't cried yet, much to everyone else's concern, but not her own. She's not sure why she hasn't, truthfully; but she's not worried about it. Maybe because, in her heart, she steeled herself for her mother's death a dozen times already over the years. Or because, despite the thawing of their relationship and their recent re-connection, she and her mother were just not that close. Or maybe it's because at the heart of it, she truly is just a cold-hearted person.

She'd mentioned this last fear to Jesse in the middle of the night, whispered into the darkness of their hotel room like a confession. To his credit, he hadn't said anything initially, simply reached over and drawn her into his arms, stroking her hair and back, kissing her face and shoulders and mumbling nonsensical words of love before telling her, "Beca, if you were such a cold-hearted person, would I be marrying you?" As if that simple fact would be enough to assuage any fears she had about herself. But strangely, it had been.

Around her the other mourners are standing and making their way up the aisle and out of the room but Beca makes no attempt to move; simply sits with her head against Jesse's shoulder, staring at the now fully lowered curtain in the front of the room. She glances up briefly as Lucy passes by and squeezes her hand, giving her aunt a sad attempt at a smile. Over her shoulder Jesse turns his head to look at someone – she assumes either her father or his parents – but no one makes a move to approach them and eventually, it is just the two of them left alone in the room.

Jesse doesn't try to talk to her, just rubs her shoulder absently, then reaches up to kiss the side of her head. And as she sits with him silently, listening to her mother's chosen music, she feels the tears start to fill her eyes. For the first time she can remember she makes no move to swipe them away but lets them fall down her face and onto Jesse's shoulder and neck. She lets the music flow through her as she allows long-repressed memories surface. Memories of being a small girl, dancing around the living room to Motown with her music-loving mother; of long car trips where she was thoroughly educated on the Stones, The Beatles and why the 60's produced the best music ever written. Memories of a mother who loved and adored music and spent much of her early childhood years passing that love along to her daughter.

After her father had left and her mother had become…who she had become, it had been easy for Beca to forget who she had once been and how much fun they had had together. But sitting here today listening to Mick lamenting on the truth of life, she finds it all coming back. She sits and listens, Jesse continuing to stroke her head and hold her tight against him until the last strains of the song fade away.

"You know the worst part about all this?" she asks him quietly, eventually straightening herself up and accepting his proffered handkerchief – seriously, only her nerdy fiancé would be carrying an actual, real handkerchief.

Jesse reaches over and strokes her face, "No, what?"

Beca finishes wiping her face, takes a deep breath and lifts her head to meet his gaze. "I used to actually like this song." She tries bravely to smile at him but her face crumbles as her tears take over in earnest. Her shoulders begin to shake as Jesse pulls her against his chest and she begins to truly sob for the first time since she has known him. No more words are spoken as he holds her and allows her to cry, knowing she is finally mourning the loss of her mother.

* * *

_**4.**_

It's not a big movie, only an animated short film. But there is an element of pedigree behind it, and the production company have enough clout to get it an official competition selection at Cannes, so Jesse gets his first invite to a big deal movie festival. Jesse's bosses are only offering to pay for his travel however and it only takes a minute for them to realize that their budget will not stretch to allow her to accompany him. They are both still working not-quite-dream jobs to make ends meet – her barely promoted past 'paying her dues' as a sound engineer at a small record label and he in administration at the Warner Bros. Television music division. Plus they have his graduate school loans to pay off and have been talking lately about maybe even buying a house. Unfortunately, they are living proof that being an adult comes with way too much responsibility that sometimes get in the way of dreams.

Beca reaches across the kitchen table and squeezes Jesse's hand, trying to reassure him that it's not a big deal when inside she is more than slightly devastated. This movie was his first real project on his own and no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to others she knows how much it has meant to him.

"Don't worry," she reassures him, leaning over to kiss him, determined to wipe the sad look from his face. "I'll be there for the next one." She knows she has not succeeded when she sees the weak smile he gives her in return.

Three weeks later during a family reunion with the Swansons' (of which she now counts herself officially) in Virginia she is blown away when Jesse's parents insist on not only paying for her to accompany him, but for them both to have a proper trip before the festival.

"Think of it as a belated honeymoon," Jacquie tells Beca as she hugs her, talking over the young woman's protests. "I know how much you would hate it if you missed this moment with him."

They try to refuse the present but the elder Swansons' insist and suddenly they are off on a two-week vacation that neither of them had expected.

Jesse insists on doing their trip planning, making lists of romantic cliché movie destinations and places he wants to see and Beca decides early on just to go with flow. After all, they are here to celebrate his success.

They start in London where they see West End shows and meet with Amy who is living it up big time; her job in advertising allowing her a very nice lifestyle Beca can't help but be impressed with. She rolls her eyes as Jesse drags them from one tourist spot to another, but even she has to admit - to herself only, she will not fuel his madness - that the beauty of the view from the London Eye momentarily leaves her speechless.

After four days they take the train to Paris and he surprises her with the Honeymoon suite at their hotel – another present from his parents, apparently. As Beca stands on the balcony of their room, looking out over yet another incredible city with her husband (a title that still catches the breath in her throat a little) wrapped around her she can't help but wonder if she will ever be able to repay Jesse's parents for their incredible generosity.

She takes more of an interest in their itinerary in Paris, enduring the touristy and clichéd activities he gets so excited over in exchange for nights spent in dingy night clubs listening to local DJs she has heard about from friends or co-workers. She enjoys the way the music unleashes her, and loves the feeling of grinding up against Jesses' hot and sweaty body as they dance; hundreds of people all around, the mixes and beats weaving around her like an amazing tapestry of sound. They stumble into the Paris streets well after 4am for the second night in a row and he is delighted when she pulls him into a picturesque little alleyway and shoves him against the wall, her hands entangled in his hair as her mouth and tongue battle with his.

"You know we'd better be careful," he tells her with a smile between kisses. "Strange thing seem to happen in Paris after midnight."

"If you want to see me naked, movie nerd, you'll stop talking now."

They send his parents daily emails with photos of the two of them, smiling and happy, kissing in romantic locales or posing like the tourists they unfortunately are in front of some famous landmark. They eat too much and drink great wine and spend more time together than they have since their Barden days.

The night before they take the train south they stay up all night and watch the city from their balcony. Cuddled up together under the comforter pulled from the massive bed they talk about how they both feel like this is the beginning of the phase of their lives they have both been waiting for.

Cannes is nothing like she could ever have expected – crowded and noisy and filled with just utterly fascinating people to watch. Jesse attends screenings of other films in competition while Beca sleeps in and walks the streets, headphones firmly in place, enjoying the atmosphere and people-watching. In the evenings they take in the public offerings at the Cinéma de la Plage and have fabulous meals in tiny little cafes. She watches more movies in three days than she thinks she has seen in the last six months but it's ok because he is so excited just to be there. She even sits through a special documentary on music in film just for him.

The afternoon of his screening Jesse is practically vibrating with excitement and nerves. He manages to get her a pass to accompany him and she holds his hand as they sit through two other short films, stroking his pulse point rhythmically in a futile attempt to calm his nerves.

It's the first time Beca has seen the movie in any way, her only knowledge of it up until know the small strains of notes she heard drifting from the piano at home as he created his music. At first she struggles a little to stay focused – animated films have never been her thing and she is more than a little distracted by Jesses' fingers playing the melody of his score on an imaginary piano in his lap. The story is nothing revolutionary – quirky, cute animated boy meets his animated, manic-pixie-dream-girl in some cute way and they spend the duration trying to hook up – but it only takes a few minutes for Beca to realise what the most beautiful and engaging part of the film is.

The score is haunting and playful, rising and falling perfectly with the moments of the characters interactions. Each note seems to have been carefully chosen to enhance and accentuate the story and as she listens, Beca is taken back to the early days of her relationship with Jesse; the happiness and the innocence of new beginnings clearly heard in his beautiful music. Without realizing, she lays her head back and closes her eyes, letting the music take her on a journey through some of the most special memories in her life.

_A cocky, outgoing boy serenading her out of a car window…_

_The look in his eyes as he sang to her across an empty pool, seemingly trying to seduce her there and then…_

_The feeling of absolute elation that coursed through her from the Lincoln Centre stage as she watched his fist slowly rise into the air…_

_The dark, liquid look of absolute adoration in his eyes as he lay below her the first time they spent the night together…_

_The nervous giddiness of her own smile as she stood with him in that garden 8 months ago and pledged herself to him forever…_

She is startled when the applause starts around her; her eyes snapping open, spilling the tears she didn't know she was crying onto her cheeks. She turns to look at Jesse beside her, her right hand over her heart, her left reaching for his. Like her his eyes are wet, his face awash with elation and happiness.

"I am so proud of you," she tells him, unable to put the enormity of what she is feeling into words very well and electing to pull him up to her instead. She takes his face in her hands as she kisses him, trying to convey how much she truly adores him and how much he has meant to her all these years. His hands come up to meet hers and they part, him leaning down to touch his forehead to hers.

"I love you so much, Beca," he tells her.

"I know," is her only reply.

They return home to LA the next day, the reality of everyday life waiting to greet them, but that feeling of the turning tide Beca had that last night in Paris never fully leaves her and she can tell Jesse feels the same way.

Six days after they get back Jesse receives a call at 2am telling him that his film was awarded the Short Film Palme d'Or. By the end of that day he has two studios interested in hearing some of his work. And the rest, as they say, is history.

* * *

_**5.**_

Somehow, amazingly, Beca ends up back in the world of collegiate a cappella. It happens slowly and kind of by accident, and by the time she realizes what's going on she is enjoying herself too much to care how it came to be.

It starts about a year after their trip to Cannes. She is starting to work more independently with some of the smaller artists at the label, moving away from plain engineering and into producing, and as part of her job she is given an intern to work with her the summer. Jacob is an eager young guy going into his sophomore year at some Midwest college she doesn't bother to remember the name of. He's happy just to observe and learn and is good at fetching food and coffee so she doesn't torment him too much, despite the fact that he is the boss' nephew.

They chat about music a lot (naturally) and Beca learns over the course of their time together that Jacob is a member of a mixed a cappella group on campus. She tells him with amusement about her own years with the Barden Bellas and is shocked when he gets a little star-struck and starts to stutter a bit.

"You're Beca Mitchell?" he asks with a reverence that concerns her and almost makes her want to lie but what can she do but tell the truth?

Apparently, it turns out, she is 'known' in the a cappella world. The Bellas had been aware at the time that they were about as famous as any ICCA team got (that is to say, lots of dorks knew who they were) - you can't win three ICCA titles and not be well known – but it surprises her that anyone would know about her own affiliation to her alma mater. Jacob very quickly delights in correcting her, telling her that her Bellas set lists are still something of a bit of legend and the fact that they were never released as an album is seen as somewhat of a travesty. Beca is startled by his eagerness to learn as much as possible about her music from so long ago and actually finds she enjoys showing him her original mixes, the trip down memory lane a very pleasant experience. Jesse is highly amused at the display of fangirling from the young intern and offers to share stories of his days as a Treblemaker as well, thus ensuring Beca the most cooperative and grateful intern in the history of unpaid college student labour.

Months later Jacob contacts her as the Musical Director for his group and asks her if she will help produce an album for them. He has convinced his uncle to let them use his studio after hours if she agrees to help so she does, party to impress her boss and partly because there is something about knowing her music had such an influence on people that intrigues her. Beca spends Spring Break recording each of the members separately as well as the group as a whole, helping sculpt a sound and a feel for them that they can replicate in live performance. The album is pretty kick-ass in her opinion and she sends copies to all her old Bellas, eager to share with them how their influence is apparently still felt in the collegiate world.

Jacob and his group go on to take 3rd place at the ICCAs that year and Jesse laughs and teases her about how proud she gets of them.

Beca produces a cappella albums for three other groups, her reputation growing with each new record. She travels the country to meet with them, renting space in small private studios and indie record labels to record, mixing and cutting the final versions in the studio Jesse helps her create in the attic of the house they finally buy together. She uses the same studio to record his demo for the fabulous David O. Russell movie he is offered a chance to pitch for and he swears that she is the reason he gets the job.

Jacob comes back to her in his senior year and asks her to not only help with an album but to mentor his group and she can't help but be flattered. That year they take the top prize in New York instead of third and Beca is forced to admit to herself how much she loves the competition. Jesse travels to see the victory with her and afterwards they go sit on the TKTS steps in Times Square and reminisce about that night more than ten years ago when they started on this crazy road known as their life together.

Within five years Beca has three tracks chosen for BOCA and one for BOHSA – a group from Oregon who are taught by a wonderful music teacher dear to her heart, Chloe. She finds she enjoys travelling around, meeting young people who just clearly love music and helping them find their voice in what is becoming a crowded and competitive world. Jesse loves to hear her stories about 'her kids', teasing her about the fact that she has gone from being the most anti-social freshman at Barden University to a mother hen to dozens of college kids and high schoolers.

Initially she continues to work at the same label, taking time off to complete her a cappella job. But eventually she finds she gets less and less pleasure from dealing with egotistical and precious artists too jaded by the world and the business to care much about what she has to offer them. Jacob's uncle is happy to keep Beca under him employ anyway he can – still so grateful for the work she did with Jacob - and so they create an off-shoot of his label under which she can work and produce her albums. Eventually however, she also takes on a completely different job to fill the time between her a cappella work – teaching a class a part of a degree in Music Industry at UCLA.

Jesse jokes that he could hear her father's exclamation of joy all the way from Georgia when she told him. Beca endures Dr Mitchell's rabbling congratulations and happiness without comment, aware that he has never had the relationship with her and Jesse that his parents have (a part of her will always blame him for her mother, as much as she hates to admit it). But even she is forced to admit herself that maybe she is more like her father than she thought when she realizes how much fulfilment and joy she gains from her students.

Their life isn't perfect – really, whose is (other than, apparently, Fat Amy's)? But they are happy more often than they are sad and although their arguments can be epic and drawn out and sometimes result in angry trips to various corners of the state and the country to spend a few days with ex-Bellas or Trebles, they love each other desperately and care for each other more than either has ever experienced. Beca is grateful every day for Jesse's presence in her life and is so thankful that he is a patient and understanding man.

As Beca works at unintentionally returning to her a cappella 'roots' (so to speak), Jesse manages to have a modicum of success in his chosen field as well. He follows up his short film with more animation work and a couple of well-received small-budget indie films that Beca is forced to sit through but doesn't completely hate. His movie with Russell is an absolute smash hit though and propels him temporarily into a circle of high budget studios and directors he could only have dreamed of. But, fuelled by Beca's new-found happiness and inspiration in her little place in the music world, he never fully embraces it, content to work on the small projects that mean so much to him instead of working as a studio lackey scoring terrible films where his music will mean little to most of those watching. Ultimately, he end up taking on much more important and fulfilling job to fill the gaps between projects – that of a stay-at-home father.

Contrary to popular folklore amongst their friends, Beca never told anyone she didn't want children – she was just never sure that they would want her to be their mother. But Jesse is a man who was built to be a father – they already have two Barden alumni godchildren who just adore him - and he eventually manages to convince her that she'll figure it out as she goes along. As she throws away her pill for the first time in 15 years she mentally prepares herself for months of anxiety and disappointment on his face – but somehow, only 8 weeks later, she is able to see the joy of his face as she tells him that yes, he is a man who can reproduce.

Beca has what is deemed by every woman she knows to be the easiest pregnancy in the history of child-bearing. She gets absolutely no morning sickness, just feels tired and nauseated for a few weeks. Her weight gain is textbook, her feet don't swell and even her cravings are boring and manageable. Aubrey jokes with her that Jesse has convinced the baby to go easy on her so she will be more than willing to do it all again someday and she's not entirely sure her friend is wrong. The female singers she works with and her students at UCLA fawn all over her tiny baby bump and she has to grit her teeth to stop herself from slapping everyone who keeps on invading her personal space.

Her father and Sheila make plans to come to LA the week after her due date and Jesse's mother arrives well before that. "I want to take care of you both," she claims but Beca knows it is just Jacquie's way of making sure she has a mother around for support, even if her own will never see this moment.

Aubrey, Stacie and Jessica send hand-me-downs from their seemingly endless number of children and Benji sheepishly presents Beca with a teeny time magician's cape she knows he must have had specially made. Beca works with two groups on albums during the first seven months before she's too big to fly and spends her days in the home studio or seated in front of her classes at UCLA. She loves the way the baby seems to move around so much inside her when she works on her music, as if he or she is dancing to a soundtrack being provided for their own enjoyment.

The actual childbirth process is fucking awful and is enough to make her never want to do it again. But Jesse is by her side throughout, sitting behind her in the bed, his hands in hers, cheering her on and telling her to scream as much as she likes because, "you've earned the right." And at the moment her daughter in placed onto her chest, equally the most disgusting and most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life, she cries openly and heartily for the first time in many, many years. They name her Aria, because it's the name she likes the most from Jesse's long list of mostly ghastly movie-inspired choices, and she knows already that music will always be a huge part of her daughter's life.

She finds Barden on her mind one night as she drives home from an evening class at UCLA. The musical director of the current Barden Bellas has sent a request for her services – the first time her work will bring her to her alma mater – and she's actually really excited to get to work with these girls. It will be her first album since Aria was born 8 months ago and as much as she loves working less and being home more with her child she can't wait to get back into the studio and lose herself just a little in the joy she gets still gets from music. Her father is still living and working near Atlanta, although his teaching schedule is much less these days, and she knows he will be delighted if they come to stay for a few weeks while she works with the group. As she parks the car in the driveway of their small house and walks up the front steps, she begins to smile at the thought of telling Jesse they're going back to Barden – even for a little while.

The house is bathed in soft lamplight as she enters and strips off her jacket and purse. Never would she have imagined that coming home to a house in the suburbs and a family would appeal to her but this truly is one of the best parts of her day. Jesse has really taken a shine to his stay-at-home role since Aria was born and his enthusiasm and eagerness to make a good life for them all reminds her of the boy she met all those years ago. She knows that at this hour he will be reading stories and tucking their little girl into bed. A glance at the clock tells her that she has time to come up and say goodnight and she smiles as she takes the stairs.

Her smile only grows wider when she turns the corner to find Jesse not sitting in the rocking chair as she predicted, but standing in the middle of the nursery with their sleeping daughter snuggled securely in his arms, his beautiful voice crooning to her softly, swaying gently in a kind of dance. Beca pauses in the hallway, her breath caught in her throat as she watches this man whom she has loved for almost half her life and she swears that in this moment she falls for him just that little bit more.

_"Who loves you, pretty baby?  
Who's gonna help you through the night?  
Who loves your pretty mama?  
Who's gonna love you all your life?"_

"You're singing it wrong", she tells him quietly as she enters the room and Jesses' head snaps up, that beautiful enticing grin splitting his face. "I thought a massive music and movie nerd like you would at least know the words." She steps across the room and leans down to kiss Aria's warm sleepy head and mumble, "Goodnight baby girl," in a soft voice intended for only her daughter's ears.

Jesse smiles at her as she straightens up and she can see the joy in his eyes at how easily motherhood has become for her. "I know," he tells her, continuing their conversation. "But that's how my mom used to sing it to me." He carefully shifts Aria's heavy weight to his left arm and reaches out to her with his right. No words are spoken as she steps into his one-armed embrace and together they start to sway again, their sleeping child nestled between them and his beautiful and sexy voice crooning in her ear.

_"Who's gonna love you all your life…"_

She doesn't need an answer, she already knows. The tears fall from her eyes as the happiness of the moment overwhelms her a little and she doesn't make a move to stop them.

As her mother used to sing to her as a child, _"__Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." _She knows now just how accurate that quote can be. Her life has taken twists and turns that she never imagined. She and Jesse don't have the life they dreamed of back in college; she will never win a Grammy, he most likely won't become a household name. But they have each other and work that they love and most importantly they have their child.

When Beca looks back at the girl she once was - the sad and lonely teen who hated her father and the world and made sure everyone knew it - she feels so fortunate to have been pulled away from that life and into the one she has been able to live. It seems amazing to her to think that she's known Jesse almost half her life now and sometimes she wishes she could go back to that first year at Barden when she was so naive and self-involved and tell that girl that truly, most stories do in fact have happy endings, even if they aren't the ones you plan for yourself. And that life does get better, if you just learn to let the right people in.

* * *

_**Music:**_ Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds; Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield; Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars; You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones; Who Loves You by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and Beautiful Boy by John Lennon.

**_More Author's Notes:_** This fic was inspired by the amazing fic in this fandom. I truly forget sometimes where canon ends and head-canon/fanon begins, so if there are things in here that seen to have come from other fics I apologize. I especially want to acknowledge two stories; Making A Moment by monroeslittle and Crescendo by SiennaSky – they were the first 2 fics I read in the PP fandom and they just grabbed me and inspired me so much. So, thanks guys!

Hope a few people found this enjoyable and were not horrified by my rustiness. I am working on a few little one-shots as well so I might be posting something more one day soon.


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